Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Mmmm, beer

Cult member: "Would you rather have beer, or complete and utter contentment?"

Homer: "What kind of beer?"

- The Simpsons

Monday, March 29, 2004

Sunday, March 28, 2004

It's happening so fast

I watched thirteen tonight. It almost felt like a remake of Less Than Zero about seventh-grade girls. The girls drink, take drugs, have sex, get bad grades, steal, talk back to adults, get body parts pierced, and eventually start smacking each other in the face just for fun. See, this is what happens when people don't have Internet access. Instead of becoming bloggers, they go all crazy and stuff. Anyway, the movie makes a compelling case that in order to be popular with people who do stupid things, you have to do stupid things.

(Hey, it looks like Mollie watched Thirteen the same day. Spooky.)

Friday, March 26, 2004

Richard Clark is The One

"Richard Clark is The One. He has gifts other 30 year career bureaucrats can only dream of . . . he's seen the Washington Matrix for what it really is, John, and now he's trying to force-feed us the Red Pill. Well I think I speak for all Americans when I say, we prefer the steak. He must be stopped!" -- The Daily Show

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Everything I need to know about politics, I learned from Survivor

On Survivor, the strongest, most useful people form alliances against each other. Then, some useless person who was "left over" after the main alliances formed becomes the all-important swing voter who ultimately will decide the outcome. If you think about it, maybe this is how real-life politics works, too.

Iron Monkey's Law of History

Those who do not understand history are doomed to repeat it; those who do understand history are also doomed to repeat it, but at least they won't be so surprised.

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Who's the daddy?

British women (allegedly) put some funny things down when filling out child support forms. Example:

06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me
that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic
implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right
by you and right by the country. Please advise.

Last Exile

Last Exile is an interesting anime set in a world of airships, airplanes, and mysterious politics.

Friday, March 19, 2004

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Woof Breweries

If you live in Oregon or at least have access to Oregon beers, try the latest beers from Woof Breweries. They have the best amber ale I've ever had, even beating out perennial favorites like Full Sail Amber and McTarnahan's. They don't seem to have a web site. I found their beer at New Seasons.

Monday, March 08, 2004

The Ultimate Video Game

On a recent episode of X-Play, Adam Sessler asked Snoop Dogg what kind of video game he would like to make. Snoop replied, "It would be pit bulls, that could turn into humans, that could turn into pimps."

Saturday, March 06, 2004

Friendly Fire, The Drink

Here's my new favorite mixed drink invention. I'm calling this the "Friendly Fire," in honor of my girlfriend's brother, who was unfortunately on the receiving end of real friendly fire over in Kablamistan, but was lucky enough to escape unharmed.
  • 1 ounce part dark rum
  • 2 ounces Cruzan coconut rum
  • 3 ounces Pineapple Coconut juice (available at Trader Joe's)
  • Shake with ice and serve in a martini glass, or stir and serve on the rocks in a rocks glass.

Is Dave Chapelle Racist?

Dave Chapelle is one of my favorite comedians. Some people consider him racist, based on his show's consistently unflattering depiction of whites. Well, I am white, and I do not object to his show. Let's face it, praising people's good qualities does not typically create good comedy, but making fun of people often does. Chapelle seems to make fun of all types of people, not just whites; his message, if there is one, seems to be that all cultures/races have absurd qualities. I don't think anyone would start hating whites just because of his show. The Chapelle Show is just good comedy, created by a non-politically-correct comedian.

Arcata Police Log

On Michelle's blog I found a link to this Arcata Police Log. I love the wording of the entries, such as:
11:28 p.m. A neighbor’s stereo volume was reduced in majesty.

4:12 p.m. A society that worships cars so much that homes are made with a special room for them offers no similar quarter to musicians. They’re not even allowed to use the garage for long, and it doesn’t even matter that they might someday manufacture noise suitable for playback through a car stereo - hell, computers can do that these days.

Washing machine for humans, motorized pants, and other advances

From a New York Times story titled Japan Seeks Robotic Help in Caring for the Aged, I learned that Japan now has washing machines for humans, motorized pants, robots that spy on old people, and other wonderful technologies:
Futuristic images of elderly Japanese going through rinse and dry cycles in rows of washing machines may evoke chills. But they also point to where the world's most rapidly aging nation is heading.

This spring Japanese companies plan to start marketing a "robot suit," a motorized, battery-operated pair of pants designed to help the aged and infirm move around on their own. Then there is the Wakamaru, a mobile, three-foot-high speaking robot equipped with two camera eyes. It is used largely by working people to keep an eye on their elderly parents at home.

The Japanese favor a robotic solution, the article explains, in part because of "xenophobia." In other words, being taken care of by robots might be a bit scary, but then anything would be better than being taken care of by foreigners.

My favorite part of the article reads:
Caught between Japan's high labor costs and anti-immigrant sentiment, some mainstream politicians have even suggested exporting some of Japan's elderly to Thailand and the Philippines, but that has never won much popular support.

"Exporting" the elderly? They could make the whole country into a giant version of Survivor. Each week, old people could compete in various challenges, and those who do not win immunity could get voted off the island. "Sorry grandma, the tribe has spoken. It's a one-way ticket to Thailand for you."

Monday, March 01, 2004

Spy Game

Reacting to recent allegations in the press that the British spied on U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan, my girlfriend asked, "why would we* spy on our friends?"

I said, "That's how we know they're still our friends."

She said, "Oh, that's horrible and cynical, and you're probably right."

(* I guess in this context "we" means "the U.S. and its allies," since we are both Americans.)