Thursday, April 10, 2003

Official Magic

My friend sent me to check out the Yellow Bamboo Association. They say:
Yellow Bamboo is an official magic, healing and self defense association founded in Bali with over 30,000 members worldwide.

Good, I wouldn't want to waste my time with unofficial magic associations. Only the best for me.

How would you like to control the entire universe, both what goes within you and what happens with others?

It would certainly help with setting the clock on my VCR.

As you can imagine when you can knock down attackers from 10 feet away or heal someone dying from something just using your own energy- that is true personal power!

Look, I don't think knocking down attackers from 10 feet away is all that great. For one thing, what if the attackers had an 11-foot stick and started hitting me with it? Then what? I'd take one heck of a beating before I finally remembered I could control the entire universe. I guess that's where the "healing people" part comes in.

Whether you desire love, money, fortune, fame, godliness, holiness etc whatever you want Yellow Bamboo provides.

Will it provide the ability to "buy a yacht with a flag sayin' chillin' the most / Then rock that bitch up and down the coast / Give a toast to the sun, drink with the stars / Get thrown in the mix and tossed out of bars?" Now we're talking . . .

One of the many powerful objectives of Yellow Bamboo is to offer proof that for those who believe in good they will always be protected either directly or indirectly as long as they do something good. It may be good in speech or behavior or intention.

But it doesn't have to be all three? So I could combine, say, good speech with bad behavior? Or bad behavior and bad speech with good intention? Cool, I like having that flexibility.

The main criteria is the Yellow Bamboo practitioner must be **serious**

Right, because you wouldn't want some goofball controlling the entire universe, or some practical joker knocking people down from 10 feet away just for laughs. I guess I'm not cut out for this.

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