Jaywalkers, I Hate You

Dear Jaywalkers,

It's bad enough when you jaywalk on a sunny summer day. But now that Portland has entered the Dark Ages (also known as non-daylight-savings-time), when it is always dark and rainy, you are especially detestable pests. I do not want my commute home to be an exercise in constantly trying to avoid killing fools, as you pop out from all directions wearing dark clothing and crossing the street where no sane person would. You notice how large portions of Barbur Boulevard have no crosswalks? That's because you're not supposed to frelling cross there because it's too dangerous!

If I'm on my motorcycle, then fine, jaywalk anywhere you like. I'll gladly swerve around you and wheelie in celebration. But when I'm in my Jeep -- well, fantastic car though it is, it does not have great visibility or stopping power. In short, it does not have the magical ability to save the lives of complete idiots who insist on throwing themselves in front of it. Stop your madness now!