MX Unleashed

MX Unleashed for Playstation 2 is the best off-road motorcycle racing game yet. The physics model seems convincing, if somewhat exaggerated to let you pull off huge jumps with ease. It may be the first game to realistically capture the strategy of block-passing -- cornering in a path that is (usually) worse in overall speed, but that blocks the rider on the "better" line and forces him to slow down. I noticed that the crowd sometimes boos when you block-pass, which I found amusing.

Like most motorcycle games, MX Unleashed misses a few real world details. It has only one brake button, not the separate front and rear brakes found on real motorcycles. Oddly, one of the only games that gets this right is Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. And though you can wheelie, the only way to do it seems to be by revving up while holding the clutch in and then popping the clutch. This method is realistic, but in real life you can also wheelie by using the rebound of the front fork. You can suddenly decelerate to compress the front suspension, then snap on full throttle right as the suspension is pushing back up. The game does not allow this, which is a very minor flaw and certainly does not impact gameplay. The fact that I expected this to work only shows how convincing the game is most of the time.

On certain Nationals tracks you can "cheat" by riding on the very edge of the track where there are no jumps instead of going over the jumps. Usually this is much faster. It is difficult to do, though, because if you stray too far off the track for too long you get penalized and lose a huge amount of time.

I wish the game had an "advanced simulation" mode where it is much easier to crash. As it is, the only way to crash is to hit something or land a jump very badly. You never seem to crash by losing traction in a corner, or losing balance on a bumpy section. I guess this gives me something to look forward to in MX Unleashed 2. I highly recommend MX Unleashed for dirtbike fans.

Iron Monkey's Law of Business Meetings

Nobody will fly all the way across the country just to agree with you.

If the price were right

With most products, quality comes at a price. A better restaurant, hotel room, or car costs more than a terrible one. But I'm fascinated by cases where quality has no relationship to price.

Movie theaters charge the same ticket price for a great movie as for an awful one. Why? What if movie prices reflected quality? Faced with a choice of watching Return of the King for $25 or Glitter for 25 cents, what would you do? You pay the same price to watch a movie whether it cost the studio $100 million to make or $1 million. Why?

A great video game and a terrible one usually have the same price tag. A poorly-written novel costs about the same as a great one. A CD of some kid screaming into a microphone, accompanied by somebody strumming the electric guitar with a cheese grater, costs about as much as a CD of Beethoven -- probably more. Why?

Open letter to Playstation 2 developers

Dear Playstation 2 developers,

The Playstation 2 has slots for two memory cards. Just to be clear, I'll say it again. The Playstation 2 has slots for two memory cards. That means that if your game can only load and save to a memory card in slot 1, then your game sucks. Does your favorite bicycle have only one foot pedal? Do you like to eat with only one chopstick? Do you wear one earmuff and one glove in the winter while skating on a single ice skate, on your way to the hair salon where the stylist cuts half of your hair with one scissor? No? Then why can't you support both memory card slots? It's not as if the second memory card slot is some exotic third-party add-on that costs 95,000 Yen and only sold 39 units in some remote town in Kyushu -- it's on every single Playstation 2 in the world! Figure this out, ok? If you can devise new dynamic lighting effects and artificial intelligences, surely you can figure out how to support memory card slot 2.

Here's another thing that should be obvious. The player should be able to pause the game at any time. And by "at any time" I mean, even in the middle of cinematic cut-scenes! What, you think the phone doesn't ring during cinematic cut-scenes? You think somehow the whole world knows to come to a halt, with no possible interruptions, just because I finished a level and got to the next pre-rendered story section?

Jak II gets both of these points right. It supports both memory card slots, and can pause in the middle of cut scenes. If Jak II can do it, any game can do it. Your game should, too.

If you find out the meaning of life, don't tell me!

If you find out the meaning of life, don't tell me! Keep it to yourself. I've Tivoed my life but haven't watched it yet, so don't give anything away. Thank you.

Photos included

If you buy a used phone with a camera in it, the previous owner may have left some unusual pictures behind.

The flight vest

I was out shopping with my brother today, and he happened to spot the Ogio Flight Vest. We joked about it at first, imagining wearing it for travel and how it would look suspiciously military for going through airport security. But then I tried it on and realized I had to have it. I am a packrat and love to carry lots of gear. This will come in handy for snowboarding, camping, etc. It also looks cool/funny.

Things I want football announcers to say

• The further into this game we get, the less time is left on the clock
  
• When you pick up more yards on first down, you don't have as many left to gain later
  
• What they should do here is purposely jump offsides a few times in a row, just to break the other team's rhythm
  

Names

Spammers seem to have started using some kind of random name generator to create the name in the "From" address. This morning I got a spam email from a "Rambucheau F. Vishnu." I don't know any Rambucheau F. Vishnu, but with a name like that I kind of wish I did. Sounds like he could be an interesting character: the Cajun Hindu. I picture him preparing crawfish vindaloo.

Vanillafy

A coworker used the word "vanillafy" today, meaning to simplify or make more ordinary, as in "we could vanillafy these examples so that they apply to all operating systems." I love this word.

Where am I?

I have gotten a few questions lately from readers about where I have been and whether I am OK. The answer (in a nutshell) is that I have been very busy at work over the past few months. So I have not had time for blogging, and have been too stressed out to write anything even if I did have the time. I do plan to return to regular writing here soon.

A new poem I wrote

Our Suburban Day


we wake dress get in the car
drive stop drive stop drive through traffic
breakfast at Denny's or Shari's
whichever is more on the way to the mall

I wear a baseball cap but
one of my more formal ones
since we are going out
I don't take it off to eat
only for a solemn moment like
the national anthem before hockey games
(and even that Canadian one to be polite)

then the shopping at the mall oh yes
the peak experience
do we support the Gap or are we
Banana Republicans
so many choices that's the best part
we could stay all day and we do
buying things
returning them
buying them back again
(is there a more lovely sound than
that of the receipt
printed and torn?
send me the MP3 of that)
we like cashiers because we feel how they
really understand us
for they are the Brand made flesh
and It touches us when they smile

we eat at Olive Garden because we always crave that
multiculturalism
I hear Italy is nice too but it's far
even farther than the Venice in Vegas
and besides
we already feel like we're there from
reading this
authentic menu

walking out the door we know (we just know)
this is it
this is what they are all so jealous of
this is what fanatics hate
who hate freedom
and we don't blame them for
feeling left out
but if they'd only work hard
be reasonable
learn English
someday their time would come

No personals

A good friend of mine said that I am "the most gay-acting straight man" she knows. I told her how my brother jokes that you can find Personal Ads for men seeking "straight-acting" gay men, but there don't seem to be any equivalent ads for women seeking "gay-acting straight men."

I had forgotten all about this remark until this evening, when I was putting an herbal clay mask on my face, and I thought, "oh, this is one of those things, isn't it?"

Driving

Driving home tonight, I was getting on the freeway and there was a lot of oil on the road. The car started to slide and got almost sideways. Then my "skillz" kicked in and I did a perfect "floaty powerslide" and saved it. A few seconds later I thought, wow, I almost totally crashed my car back there. A few seconds after that I thought, wow, I feel like James Bond!

Movie ideas

They can make anything into a movie these days: a comic book, an old TV series, a Saturday Night Live skit, just about anything. You know what I'm waiting for? Victoria's Secret: The Motion Picture. That's what I'm waiting for.

Music

My friend Bob creates some interesting electronic music using thumb pianos and other instruments. I like the way he explores the overtones and subtle distortions of the tones.

Cat Reddick

OK, here's my theory. Right before today's game, Cat Reddick was bitten by a radioactive spider and acquired super-powers. I don' t know how else to explain it -- In the U.S. victory 3-0 over North Korea, she was all over the field, scoring two goals and making numerous incredible defensive plays. I've never considered her a star before, just an average player, but today was her day.

Mia Hamm, part 2

In a comment to my previous Mia Hamm post, koshtra says:

Some athletes have such a purity of concentration that it seems like you're watching a transfiguration or a transcendence -- this is what all human life could be if we just paid attention for once...

Yes, that's exactly what I'm talking about! Watch Mia when she is on the soccer field. Look at her face. There is a transcendent beauty there. It is not because she is physically attractive, although she is. It is an intensity, a kind of purity of intent and purpose that could be terrifying if it weren't so beautiful. Many players have a lot of skill with the soccer ball, but few have this.

And I think koshtra is right: if only we paid attention . . .

Mia Hamm

I'm sorry, but I'm a bit crazy. When I see Mia Hamm do something wonderful on the soccer field, I get kind of choked up. Several times when she has scored a goal, I have actually started crying a bit -- especially if it happens during a World Cup. (The only other player I've ever had that reaction to is Pele.) Today when Mia scored her second goal against Nigeria on the free kick, well that was one of those times.

Outsourcing, our road to paradise

Offshore outsourcing is good, because it drives down costs, which drives down prices. The rise in unemployment is balanced out by the cheaper cost of everything to consumers. If you follow this to its logical conclusion, eventually no American will have a job, but we won't need (or want) jobs or incomes because everything will be free. We will live in a slacker's paradise. ("Been spending most their lives, living in the slacka's paradise . . .")