Thursday, August 14, 2003

Interviewed by Krista

Krista asked me 5 interesting interview questions. My responses are below.

1.If you could (or had to) live in a foreign country for a year, where would you live and why? (with the exception of Canada)

I already lived in a foreign country for a year: I was an exchange student in Japan during my junior year in college. I found Japan stressful, though, so if I had to pick another country to live in for a year, it would be someplace more laid-back. Costa Rica might be fun -- I went there for 2 weeks once and had a great time. The southeast coast is mostly English-speaking, so there is no language barrier, and the people are very nice.

But why doesn't Canada count? Because it isn't "really" a foreign country? Are the rumors true that it is just a big extension of Minnesota? Actually, I have a theory that the West Coast of North America is all one culture, from Canada to Mexico. I can go to Vancouver, B.C. or Puerto Vallarta and I feel like I'm still in the same basic place. But visiting the East Coast of the U.S. feels much more like a foreign country to me, even though it isn't.

2. What single thing has changed your life, for better or for worse, the most?

Computers, for better and worse. Computers have given me entertainment, employment, email, MP3 music, frustration, and blogdom. I can't imagine life without them.

3. Can you describe the word "tangy"?

(This is one of the best questions ever!) Tangy tastes the way a single note plucked from a guitar string sounds. It arrives suddenly and vanishes gradually, but leaves you wanting more. Tangy may have a bit of sourness or even a component of bitterness, but it is usually balanced out with sweetness. Tangy makes you salivate. The ultimate tangy dish is "Zucchini with Tangy Sauce" at a Chinese restaurant.

4. You're sitting in jail right now for committing some spectacular crime. What was it?

Hypothetically, I would not want to be in jail for any crime involving violence against other people, so my imaginary crime would have to be some sort of property crime. But to qualify as "spectacular" it would have to be something really big -- an audacious, "impossible" crime. I know! I would steal the Statue of Liberty, and then bury it shoulder-deep in the sand at Waikiki, so that it looked just like the final scene in the original Planet of the Apes movie. This would require a small army of accomplices, lots of funding, and comic-book-villian style technology. People who might notice the crime in progress would have to be hypnotized to ignore it, or sedated with some temporary and ultimately harmless sleeping gas. We would cut the statue into sections and load it onto a large ship to take it to Hawaii. During the voyage, everyone would know the statue was missing, but nobody would know where it was, causing a worldwide sensation and constant news coverage. Then we would use the same hypnosis/sleep technique at the other end of the voyage while my henchmen and their heavy construction equipment buried the statue. The pointlessness of this takes it beyond crime and into the realm of extreme performance art.

Oh, it would be quite a thrill to be known as The Man Who Stole the Statue of Liberty!

5. If you were stuck on a desert island, what inflatable pool toy would you like to find to help your escape?

(I'll have to skip the inevitable joke about the inflatable, uh, female companion.) An inflatable kayak or raft would be the most practical, especially if it came with an inflatable GPS, inflatable two-way radio, and inflatable outboard motor.

* * *

1 -- Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 -- I'll respond. I'll ask you five questions.
3 -- You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 -- You'll include this explanation.
5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

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