"Jessica Lynch is an American hero. Key word: American. That means she belongs to us. We need her. We need her goodness, and her newness. We need to feed upon her life force so that we, too, can live."
"Steven, that makes us sound like parasites!"
"No, no Jon, not at all. It's like a remora or a lamprey. We just need to latch on to her jugular and keep on sucking until her soul is as dry as a crouton."
"That's a parasite."
"No Jon, a parasite feeds off the living. We don't care if the host lives or dies. We're just as happy to feed off of decomposing flesh. Technically, that makes us saprophytes."
-- The Daily Show