Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Jihad Carols

Gretchen ponders:

Do people even go caroling anymore? Did they ever? It's a great tradition, but in today's politically correct climate where you are no longer sure if you can even say Merry Christmas - it would seem even more dangerous to go door to door singing Christmas carols perhaps offending someone with your goodwill towards men.

Well, carolers who want to really broaden their repertoire can learn some Jihad Carols with which to entertain any terrorists in the neighborhood. Have Yourself A Merry Little Jihad is a great opener, along with Deck The Halls With Vials of Anthrax. Then you can go into the classic, All I Want For Jihad Is My Two Front Teeth, And The Utter Destruction Of Israel. This tune actually has a second, more moderate version, called All I Want For Jihad Is My Two Front Teeth, And For Israel To Withdraw To Its Pre-1967 Borders In Accordance With U.N. Resolution 242, but terrorists prefer the first one. At this point in the program, it's probably wise to lighten things up a little and close with a funny Jihad Carol like Grandma Got Martyred By An Imperialist Reindeer.


clara* said...

regardless of song, i'd be pretty freaked out by someone standing outside my door and singing.

oh and i'm TOTALLY doing the bookshelf thing. maybe friday. you'll be appalled....

Anonymous said...

I went caroling once, about 25 years ago. It was fun, a little cold, but disappointing when people ignored us.

I love the song titles! I'd make just one adjustment, though. As for "All I Want For Jihad...," I think it's more realistic to say that the anti-Israel lobby prefers the latter title, and that all good Muslims, not just the Islamic terrorists, prefer the former.

You forgot some others, like "Adeste Horrifica" (aka "O Come All Ye Terrorists"), "Carol of the Bombs," and "Akbar the Trigger-Happy Terrorist" (sung to the tune of "Rudolph".)