Models

Design your own models at myvirtualmodel.com. From what I can figure out, the idea seems to be that you design a model that looks like you, then use it to "try on clothes" at online shopping sites that support the technology. It's kind of a cool idea. It's also fun to just play around with the parameters and see what happens.

We will agree no more forever

Some intellectuals cherish the notion that other people have very different values and priorities as a result of being "uninformed." According to this delusion, as soon as everyone becomes "educated" and exposed to the proper information, they will see the light and change their worldview.

The Web and the Blogosphere should make it clear just how wrong this idea is. Bloggers probably have better access to more sources of information than any people in history, yet we have not magically started to agree about everything. I see plenty of blogs written by very smart, very well-informed people who nonetheless have radically different views from each other.

People are different. We have different goals. We may be able to get along, but we won't all see things the same way.

Athens from Space

Space Imaging has cool satellite images of the Olympic stadiums in Athens, Greece.

Plausible Gibberish

Language Log explains:

Try slipping into a conversation a remark like More people have written about this than I have. [. . . ] at first people seem to think it is grammatical and means something. Given a few moments to think, though, they soon realize that it is just plausible-looking English-style gibberish. It seems to be an intelligible sentence of the language but it is just masquerading.

This sentence sounds pretty good at first, because it is very close to the valid sentence: People have written more about this than I have. Not only that, it also works as the first part of a valid sentence such as: More people have written about this than I have credited. I think listeners must unconsciously substitute something like one of those.

Michelle has been talking about gardening:

I shouldn't be allowed near garden centers without a chaperone.

Went to WVU Greenhouse plant sale, and then went to Lowe's, 'just to get some mulch.' Ha.

I know how this works. The other day I went to the garden center to get "a fuchsia." That's right, I planned to purchase just one plant, which is about as likely to happen as eating just one potato chip. I came back with about 15 plants, everything from jasmine to strawberries.

I think my garden must be the world's most labor-intensive bird feeder. Instead of putting out birdseed and straw, I plant, water, fertilize, and tend all sorts of plants, only to have them eaten or carried off for nesting materials by the neighborhood birds. I can't blame them, though, they're just doing what birds do.

Favorite Gadgets

I love gadgets, but some of them work out better than others. Some sit relatively unused, but others make me think, "How on earth did I ever live without this? I could never go back." Here are the gadgets that I like even more than I thought I would:

• Playstation 2. The fact that it doubles as a DVD player makes it indispensable.


• TiVo. If you like TV, you should get TiVo. If you have premium cable, you must get TiVo.


• The Infinity Basslink powered car subwoofer. I know what you're probably thinking: car subwoofers are only for annoying teenagers who drive by at 3am with their music blasting so loud that it rattles your windows and wakes you up. But that would be incorrect. The truth is, no matter what kind of music you listen to, and no matter what volume level you prefer, a good subwoofer will make your music sound better.


• Sony Clie NX80V. It doesn't have a phone, but it has everything else, including digital camera, thumb keyboard, and MP3 player.


• Spyderco Ladybug knife. This is the perfect keychain knife, with both serrated and plain areas of the blade. I use it all the time.


• The Rabbit Corkscrew. Opens wine bottles so quickly it looks like a magic trick.

"You know which city has a really big Chinatown? Hong Kong."

Marge: "C'mon, Homer, Japan will be fun! You liked Rashomon!"

Homer: "That's not how I remember it."

- The Simpsons

Message on a Mobile

(to the tune of "Message in a Bottle," by The Police)

Just a castaway, an island lost at sea, oh
Another lonely day, with no one texting me, oh
More loneliness than any man could bear, oh
Text to me before I fall into despair, oh
I'll send an SMS to the world
I'll send an SMS to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message on a mobile, yeah
Message on a mobile, yeah

Sending out an SMS
Sending out an SMS
Sending out an SMS . . .

The Calm

We often hear about the calm before the storm, but there must also be another calm, the one after the storm, right? Why don't we hear about that one? Isn't that the nicer one? When you get right down to it, the calm before the storm isn't very calming, is it? That one doesn't relax us. Nobody says, "hey, this must be the calm before the storm, quick, let's have a picnic!" Maybe we should try saying that, but we don't. The calm before the storm is a nervous calm.

The calm after the storm, though, that one is the "let's roast marshmallows" calm. Maybe it's the "find a stick in the wreckage and play stickball" calm. Maybe it's the "take a picture, because they're never going to believe this" calm. But it's the one where you always relax. Given a choice, I'll take that one every time.

WordPop Strategy Guide

WordPop is a great game for Palm OS. It is a word game similar to Boggle, but because you can turn the playing field and slide the letter tiles around, it also has Tetris-like elements to it. WordPop has a lot of potential for replayability. My personal highest scoring words so far are WHEREVER, JALOPIES and FLAPPING for 190 points each, and QUILTERS and TAXATIONS for 180 points each.

Here is my strategy guide to the game.

Start of board: Trouble Letters: each time you get a new board full of letters, start by looking for the "difficult" letters Q, J, X, Y and Z. Note the positions of these letters (if they appear), because they can cause trouble for you later if you can't find words for them early on. Your goal should be to get rid of these letters soon. They can be very good because they are high-scoring, but you should use them up early in the board while you still have a lot of options. Remember not to use up all the U's while you still have a Q. Some boards have a Q and only one U.

Start of board: High Scoring Words: the other thing to do at the beginning of a board is to try to find high-scoring 7+ letter words. You may find one that can be spelled on the very first move. You may also find a "close call," a 7+ letter word that you can almost spell, but some letters are out of position. Make a small word that shifts the tiles so that you can make your big word on move 2.

Middle game: vowel/consonant ratio: in the middle game of each board, pay attention to the ratio of vowels to consonants. Obviously, if you wind up in the end game with 9 consonants and 0 vowels (or the reverse) you are in big trouble. Try to keep the vowel/consonant mix approximately even. If the board is vowel-heavy, start making small words with more vowels than consonants until the ratio evens out. If your board is vowel-poor, do the opposite and make a few words like "depth" or "tasks" to even things up. If you get through the middle game with a good balance of vowels and consonants, the end game will be a snap.

End game: When you get to the end game, the object should be to avoid using your blank or extra letters if at all possible. It may be better to make a few low scoring words and clear the board than make a high scoring word that requires you to use a blank tile on your next move. Plan ahead. Once the board is down to around 7 tiles, I don't make another word until I have a plan that accounts for all the remaining tiles.

First Date

Open Brackets has a pretty funny first date story.

Lounging on the Ice Mattress

A recent poem by Crystallyn goes like this:

The Eyes Begin to Draw Stars

They told me about it, their voices calm,
music low; it was snowing outside.
I didn't hear them.
I was watching the way the water fell--
a frozen shower of winter stars,
layering sparkles of white on
the ice-topped canal.
I thought it was like a fluffy blanket--
maybe I could crawl under and curl
up, fishes dreaming beneath my
mattress of ice, the sound of
duck wings whirring me to sleep.

I like this poem a lot. I like the image of the mattress of ice, and reading such a wintry poem on a warm Spring day like this is the next best thing to air conditioning. I can imagine the poem also working without the "I didn't hear them" line, though omitting it might change the emphasis a bit.

Does Garlic Cheese Bread Have the Buddha-Nature?

Dale writes about the concept of "enlightenment."

It's curious how much attention people who don't practice in the Buddhist tradition give to the concept of "enlightenment," and how little people who do practice give it. You would think it would be the other way around: that those people who are most interested in enlightenment would be those who would most want to practice. But in fact a dead giveaway of a person who's new to Buddhist practice is that they have lots of questions about enlightenment. Does it include this? Does it look like that? And of course what the questions give you is a precise map of their obsessive cravings and fears. Does it include romantic love? Oral sex? Garlic cheese bread? Does it look like loneliness? Boredom? Indifference?

If enlightenment doesn't include anchovies, you can keep it.

Web browser text replacement

Why not have a web browser feature that can do on-the-fly search and replace of keywords in the content? The user could supply a custom list of words or phrases and their replacements. This would be pretty easy to do, and could have a wide variety of uses.

Doublespeak Replacement: Set it to automatically replace the phrase "security contractors" with "mercenaries," and so on. The news might seem realistic again.

Spin Generator: This type of list would add "flavor" by replacing neutral terms with more charged ones.

Foul language eliminator: Make the Web PG-13! Replace "hell" with "heck," or replace c********* with "scoundrel."

Medievalizer: Replace "the" with "ye," "you" with "thou," etc.

Compressor: Replace wordy phrases with shorter ones. Replace "at this point in time" with "now," etc.

Super compressor: Replace "You know what I'm saying?" and "At the end of the day," with ""

How about it? Will we see this in some future version of Mozilla?

Amity Vineyards 2001 Oregon Dry Riesling

The name does not lie, this is a very dry Riesling. I am not normally a fan of Rieslings, and maybe that has something to do with why I like this wine so much. It is a perfect wine for the hot Spring weather we've been having here in Portland. If you enjoy a "crisp" refreshing wine, give this a try.

U.S. 5, Brazil 1 (Women's Soccer)

Mia Hamm proved she is still one of the world's top players today with one goal and three assists. Mia showed she can beat Brazil in nearly every aspect of the game. She can set up goals with free kicks, she can dribble past defenders along the wing, she can place a one-touch pass at a teammate's feet in the penalty box, and she can score goals.

Abby Wambach played only the first half but scored two goals and could easily have had a hat trick if she had played the rest of the game. She may be the most dangerous U.S. player in the air.

For me, the surprise of the game was Christie Rampone, who had an outstanding game for the U.S. on defense. She looked rock-solid and turned back attack after attack by Brazil.

Brazil's players made many good individual runs, but seemed unable to connect on the last pass to set up a scoring chance. Oddly, Brazil kept trying the long ball and high crosses all day long without success. Their only goal was set up by a bad clearance by the U.S. defense.

Kristin Luckenbill came in as a substitute goalkeeper in the second half, her first appearance for the U.S. National Team, but was not called on to do much because the ball was so often at the other end of the field.

Rust Reversal

A fountain downtown used to be covered with a layer of rust, which added a wistful quality of decay, bringing to mind the passage of time and the impermanence of all things.

I walked by today and saw that the fountain has been cleaned up. It now looks like a bunch of shiny silver boxes. But I think it looks much worse. It is boring now. There is nothing "there" when I look at it any more. Maybe part of the fun will be watching the rust slowly reappear, though. How long will it take?

Now look what you've done!

What do you do when some of your fellow citizens get taken hostage by terrorists, threatened with execution, then finally released? Well, in Japan you blame the victims for causing a problem and send them a hefty bill. As the story explains:

"You got what you deserve!" read one hand-written sign at the airport where they landed. "You are Japan's shame," another wrote on the Web site of one of the former hostages. They had "caused trouble" for everybody. The government, not to be outdone, announced it would bill the former hostages $6,000 for air fare.

[. . .] Treated like criminals, the three former hostages have gone into hiding, effectively becoming prisoners inside their own homes. The kidnapped woman, Nahoko Takato, was last seen arriving at her parents' house, looking defeated and dazed from tranquilizers, flanked by relatives who helped her walk and bow deeply before reporters, as a final apology to the nation.

Dr. Satoru Saito, a psychiatrist who examined the three former hostages twice since their return, said the stress they were enduring now was "much heavier" than what they experienced during their captivity in Iraq.

The issue seems to be that they ignored a Japanese government warning advising them not to travel to Iraq. Oops.

Skateboarding Dog: Must-See Video!

Oh. My. God. This is the best video I've ever seen on the Internet. This dog can skateboard really, really well! Click on the link to the video. (via ApeChild)

Enjoy or Suffer

LanguageLog, quoting Agoraphilia, comments on how "enjoy" and "suffer from" are new variants on "have." As in, for example, "Americans enjoy the right to vote," or "Many Americans suffer from stress-related illness." But reading this post, I couldn't help but construct an imaginary dialogue:

"Do you enjoy a computer?"

"Actually, I suffer from a Windows ME machine."

Mercenaries in Iraq, part 2

Like I said, they are mercenaries. (New York Times, site requires free registration.) Quote:

[. . .] they are there, racing about Iraq in armored cars, many outfitted with the latest in high-end combat weapons. Some security companies have formed their own "Quick Reaction Forces," and their own intelligence units that produce daily intelligence briefs with grid maps of "hot zones." One company has its own helicopters, and several have even forged diplomatic alliances with local clans.

Far more than in any other conflict in United States history, the Pentagon is relying on private security companies to perform crucial jobs once entrusted to the military.

[. . .] more and more, they give the appearance of private, for-profit militias — by several estimates, a force of roughly 20,000 on top of an American military presence of 130,000.

During the drive home

While listening to a CD of flamenco singing on the car stereo.

Me: Did he just say 'La Vida Loca?'

Her: It's hard to tell, they slur their words in this kind of singing.

Me: Originally that was due to drunkenness, but now it's just part of the "style."

Her (unsure if I'm joking): No, I mean in this dialect of Spanish, they slur their words more.

Me: Originally that was due to drunkenness, but now it's considered an "official dialect."

Malice, Stupidity, and Much Much More

Hanlon's Razor: "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

Iron Monkey's After-Shave: Never attribute to malice or stupidity that which can be adequately explained by the complexity or ambiguity of the underlying situation.

Freddy Adu's first professional goal

Freddy Adu's first pro goal came in the 75th minute of today's MLS game between DC United and the Metrostars. It was a quirky goal, and I had to watch the replay a few times to figure out exactly what happened. Josh Gros dribbled down the left wing, tightly marked by a defender. He beat his man with a low, slow cross. The ball came straight for a second defender who slipped and fell down without being able to block it. Then a third defender ran right past the ball, perhaps not expecting it to make it that far. Freddy Adu took advantage of the opportunity and scored easily from about 3 yards out. The odd nature of the goal should not take anything away from Adu's performance, though. He positioned himself in the right place to take advantage of a mistake by the opposition.

Soccer Rant

Why are on-target shots so hard to come by in soccer? In basketball, where the target is only slightly larger than the ball, most shots either score or at least hit the rim. Yet in soccer, where the target is roughly 100 times bigger than the ball, a large percentage of shots go wide by yards or sail high above the crossbar. I played soccer in school, and of course not all of my shots were on-target either, but I wasn't a professional; can't the pros learn not to shoot 10 feet above the crossbar? With a lot of the shots I've seen today, the role of goalkeeper could have been played by a cardboard cutout of William Shatner for all the difference it would have made.

Treachery in the Home

One of our cats, whom we suspect of clawing the furniture when we aren't looking, has earned himself the new nickname Osama Been Clawin'.

Mercenaries in Iraq

According to The Guardian:

It is thought up to 10,000 "security consultants" - who critics say would be more accurately described as mercenaries - are working in Iraq, on salaries at anything between £600 and £3,000 a day.

I'm getting really tired of hearing about how a bunch of guys with guns patrolling a war zone are "consultants." Come on, a consultant is a guy in a suit who shows you a Powerpoint presentation and babbles about enhancing productivity and adding value. A guy who carries automatic weapons and provides "security" during a war is a mercenary.

Now, I'm not saying there is necessarily anything wrong with being a mercenary, or with using mercenaries. Mercenaries have been around for thousands of years, probably for as long as there have been wars, and now they have become "corporate warriors". But I think it is ridiculous to try to sugar-coat everything with doublespeak. To see how silly the term "consultants" really is in this context, try it out in a sentence like this: "The Roman Empire needed more manpower to defend its borders, so it employed the Visigoths as consultants." Yeah, that's the perfect term.

How not to use ladders

The Naval Safety Center web site has some amusing pictures of what not to do, including this one of a guy who didn't have a long enough ladder, so he balanced smaller ladders on top of each other. (via This Is Broken)

New cocktail

Here's my latest cocktail creation, the "Xander" (named after the character on Buffy, the Vampire Slayer):

• 1 part Godiva chocolate liqueur
  
• 3 parts Skyy Vanilla vodka
  
• 3 parts Lemon Perrier

Shake the vodka and Godiva with ice and strain into martini glasses. Then add the Perrier and stir.

Howard Sherman's blog has an article about small local amusement parks. When I was a kid here in Portland, the local park that we loved was Oaks Park, on the East bank of the Willamette River. Though my father did not like amusement parks, he was nice enough to take me and my brother there occasionally. Oaks Park also had roller skating, and one area of the floor had some undulating bumps, kind of like waves.

Though the Oaks Park of my youth didn't have the huge, spectacular rides that some of the nationally known parks had, it was still great fun, and the convenience of it (only a 15 minute drive from home) was very appealing.

The Freddy Adu Report, part 2

Freddy Adu played all of the second half of today's MLS soccer match between D.C. United and Los Angeles. Freddy made some good moves and created scoring chances. Probably one of the most effective tactics for a flashy, much-hyped new player is to lure multiple defenders to himself and then pass the ball off to an open teammate. And he will draw defenders, because no team wants to look bad by letting a 14-year-old score goals on them. If Freddy can get comfortable with this role, at least in the short term, he can probably wind up with a few assists. Freddy took a shot from inside the penalty box in the 90th minute, but the LA keeper stopped the shot.

The spectacular play of the day actually went to LA's Ruiz, who whirled around at the top of the box in the 85th minute and scored a goal that brought his team even at 1-1. LA had a good chance to win the game in injury time, but could not convert, so the game ended in a 1-1 draw.

Landsailing

I took a day-trip to Cannon Beach today, and saw this landsailer getting ready to go. It wasn't extremely windy, but there was enough wind for this vehicle to cruise around.

The water at the Oregon coast is extremely cold, so people find other things to do at the beach that don't involve getting in the water. I only saw a few people wading in, and I saw one guy in a full wetsuit surfing.

Diving

In today's MLS soccer match between Chicago and San Jose, the ESPN2 announcer explained that DaMarcus Beasley's dive near the penalty box was "a smart play" after "he looked up and didn't have any options." I think this is horrible announcing. A truly smart play would have been to either dribble past the defender and score a goal, or pass the ball off to someone else and try to get open. When a player can't beat his defender and tries to make up for it by theatrics, this is not a "smart play." It cheapens the game, and ought to be penalized by the referee.

Soma

Soma is that rare, elusive type of band that manages to be the perfect down-tempo, chill-out music, yet without being boring or depressing. Whenever I play this, people ask, "wow, what IS this?" Highly recommended.

Documentaries

Since getting Tivo, I've been watching a lot more documentaries. The History Channel is now one of my favorites. What does this have to do with Tivo? I think the connection is that I probably don't want to watch a whole documentary at one sitting, especially if it is an hour or longer. But if I can watch at my own pace, a little at a time, I love documentaries.

Futon potato

I thought I was getting pretty good at meditation, but then I realized I was just sitting around.

Kickin' out the jams

My girlfriend is out of town on a business trip, which means that I can listen to music at the satisfyingly high volume levels that God intended when He inspired man to invent the amplifier. If the soles of my feet can't detect the floor shaking, my mind clouds with doubt that I'm getting my money's worth out of my stereo system.

Anyway, this reminded me of a quote from the May '04 issue of Cycle World. Someone had written a letter asking about vibration in motorcycles, and the answer said (in part):

[ . . . ] There are some frequencies that everybody loves and others that everybody hates, but there's also a lot of frequencies whose impact is not so cut-and-dried. Depending upon many physical factors, including size, weight, bone structure and body density, some riders find certain frequencies bothersome or even debilitating while other riders do not.

When designing the C5 Corvette in the 1990s, General Motors conducted extensive research in this field. Those studies found that the previous generation of 'Vettes had natural resonant frequencies that went unnoticed by most men but tended to have an unpleasant effect on large numbers of women. Further research then attributed this phenomenon to the simple fact that most female bodies fall within a significantly different range of resonant frequencies than those of most men. As a result, the engineers spent huge amounts of development time and money "tuning" the C5 chassis to avoid the frequency ranges that annoy females while still allowing most males to receive the kind of sensory input they prefer.

This may answer two mysteries that I've long wondered about: why so many women dislike 80's Corvettes, and why men and women often disagree about loud music. (My girlfriend does occasionally listen to quite loud music, but it is a different type of music than what I usually play, so it may accentuate a different frequency range.)

When I think of Corvettes, I always think of the unintentionally-hilarious movie Corvette Summer, starring Mark Hamill.

My conversation with Catty

The following is my actual conversation with the Bot called Catty, which I found via Collision Detection.

You: tell me a story
Cat: previous random next never let your barber tell you a story

You: so the story is about a barber?
Cat: the story his father tells him is about a so-called beautiful maiden

You: what makes her so beautiful?
Cat: the myths also state that a large city once stood here which was so beautiful the gods became jealous and sent a flood that swallowed it up entirely in a single day...

You: sounds like an Ark would be nice to have
Cat: it would be nice to have something happen

You: ok, so back to the story. What happens to the maiden?
Cat: ha ha ha anyway back to the story :)

You: Yes. Tell me about the maiden.
Cat: wild women wild women now i cdont want you folks to misconstrue what fim about to say to you but im cgonna tell you about the g7women in my clife

You: She was wil.d
Cat: mashi did nassur ever tell you about when he recognized his wife

You: she was his wife?
Cat: despite the fact that his wife also came from a noble family according to the biographical sources she was immoral and committed shameful debaucheries and therefore gangolf had to flee :0

You: And his name was Gangolf. Sounds like Gandalf.
Cat: his name was eurybates and ulysses treated him with greater familiarity than he did any of the others as being the most like-minded with himself

You: Are we on the Odyssey now?
Cat: since belshazzar was the subordinate of nabonidus his name was forgotten because the ancient babylonian and greek historians were primarily interested in the reigns of the official kings :-(

You: This story is complicated.
Cat: if this story is relocated please leave my name intact as the author and please include my email address? ;)

You: Tell me more about the King.
Cat: here is a link to a page that will tell you more about resource types.

You: Did you see Return of the King, by the way?
Cat: click here to read more about the edition history of the text :*

You: I like Lord of the Rings
Cat: legolas the elf in the lord of the rings trilogy :(

You: I like Gandalf better then Legolas
Cat: but one of the great things about the lord of the rings is the fact that they are very grounded in character and relationship

You: You are right. Also Lord of the Rings creates a believable world.

Cat: just as lord of the rings did earlier this year a great movie has brought parents and kids together in shared family entertainment :>

You: What about Batman?
Cat: kekez i still havent see lord of the rings sweatdrop and i have exams

You: Spiderman?
Cat: i do not know if the new star wars movie will beat out lord of the rings...

You: No, it won't. Lord of the Rings will rule them all.
Cat: what follows is a rather disturbing introduction to the race of morlocks an underground lord of the rings ork-like creature? :P

You: But the Morlocks were from H.G. Wells.
Cat: if they were from england their vocals might actually match :*

You: I guess in a way the Morlocks were from England. They probably played cricket.
Cat: my son attended a britannia soccer camp a few years back and the instructors all from england used the term and again to initiate a wall pass

Freddy Adu's Soccer Debut in the MLS

A sellout crowd for MLS opening day in D.C. got to see 14 year old Freddy Adu, the youngest player in MLS history, and the youngest person to play on a professional team in the U.S. in over 100 years. Adu did not start the game, but came on as a substitute in the second half. DC United hosted the San Jose Earthquakes.

In the first half, DC United had a free kick outside the left corner of the penalty area, and Jaime Moreno scored the first goal on a header to put DC up 1-0.

A few minutes later, the referee awarded San Jose a penalty kick after DC's keeper Nick Rimando fouled Brian Mullan as both players charged toward the ball. This call may have been a bit controversial, since Rimando was going for the ball, and arguably the contact was unintentional and incidental. But as I see it, the problem with Rimando's play was that he made no effort to avoid striking Mullan. Rimando went for the ball and missed, but afterwards he kept his arm extended and so his follow-through struck Mullan in the upper chest and neck area. Ekelund converted the penalty kick with a hard shot into the upper left corner of the net and tied the score at 1-1.

A few minutes later DC's Eskandarian scored on a low shot that went in off the right goalpost, with an assist by Moreno. This put DC up 2-1.

In the second half, DC almost scored a third goal when Bobby Convey went on a breakaway and dribbled past the goalkeeper, but his shot at the open net just barely missed wide left.

In the 58th minute, DC's Moreno beat 2 defenders and dribbled all the way to the goal line then shot from an impossible angle. The ball deflected off a defender's leg and into the net, but the referee signaled no goal, claiming that the ball had been out of bounds across the goal line before Moreno shot. Instant replay showed that the ball was not completely over the line and so it was still in bounds. The goal should have counted.

In the 61st minute, Freddy Adu came onto the field as a substitute. He played a calm and sensible game, without trying anything too fancy.

Landon Donovan almost tied the game in the 65th minute with a shot from the top of the area, but an acrobatic save by Rimando prevented the tying goal.

The game ended on an unpleasant note with two players getting red cards: one in the 76th minute to San Jose's Waibel for a dangerous tackle on Moreno, then another in the 80th minute to Kovalenko (DC) for elbowing.

The final score was 2-1 in favor of DC United.

Comments are back

I've finally turned comments back on for this site.

Mmmm, beer

Cult member: "Would you rather have beer, or complete and utter contentment?"

Homer: "What kind of beer?"

- The Simpsons

Gandalf's pipe-weed conspiracy

If Noam Chomsky criticized Middle Earth politics, it might go something like this. (via makeoutcity)

It's happening so fast

I watched thirteen tonight. It almost felt like a remake of Less Than Zero about seventh-grade girls. The girls drink, take drugs, have sex, get bad grades, steal, talk back to adults, get body parts pierced, and eventually start smacking each other in the face just for fun. See, this is what happens when people don't have Internet access. Instead of becoming bloggers, they go all crazy and stuff. Anyway, the movie makes a compelling case that in order to be popular with people who do stupid things, you have to do stupid things.

(Hey, it looks like Mollie watched Thirteen the same day. Spooky.)

Richard Clark is The One

"Richard Clark is The One. He has gifts other 30 year career bureaucrats can only dream of . . . he's seen the Washington Matrix for what it really is, John, and now he's trying to force-feed us the Red Pill. Well I think I speak for all Americans when I say, we prefer the steak. He must be stopped!" -- The Daily Show

Everything I need to know about politics, I learned from Survivor

On Survivor, the strongest, most useful people form alliances against each other. Then, some useless person who was "left over" after the main alliances formed becomes the all-important swing voter who ultimately will decide the outcome. If you think about it, maybe this is how real-life politics works, too.

Iron Monkey's Law of History

Those who do not understand history are doomed to repeat it; those who do understand history are also doomed to repeat it, but at least they won't be so surprised.

Who's the daddy?

British women (allegedly) put some funny things down when filling out child support forms. Example:

06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me
that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic
implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right
by you and right by the country. Please advise.

Last Exile

Last Exile is an interesting anime set in a world of airships, airplanes, and mysterious politics.

Iron Monkey's Law of Business Topography

From far enough away, any obstacle looks small.

Woof Breweries

If you live in Oregon or at least have access to Oregon beers, try the latest beers from Woof Breweries. They have the best amber ale I've ever had, even beating out perennial favorites like Full Sail Amber and McTarnahan's. They don't seem to have a web site. I found their beer at New Seasons.

New Music

Recent CD Baby purchases: Deirdre Flint, Dremana, Fisher.

The Ultimate Video Game

On a recent episode of X-Play, Adam Sessler asked Snoop Dogg what kind of video game he would like to make. Snoop replied, "It would be pit bulls, that could turn into humans, that could turn into pimps."

Friendly Fire, The Drink

Here's my new favorite mixed drink invention. I'm calling this the "Friendly Fire," in honor of my girlfriend's brother, who was unfortunately on the receiving end of real friendly fire over in Kablamistan, but was lucky enough to escape unharmed.

• 1 ounce part dark rum
  
• 2 ounces Cruzan coconut rum
  
• 3 ounces Pineapple Coconut juice (available at Trader Joe's)
  
• Shake with ice and serve in a martini glass, or stir and serve on the rocks in a rocks glass.
  

Is Dave Chapelle Racist?

Dave Chapelle is one of my favorite comedians. Some people consider him racist, based on his show's consistently unflattering depiction of whites. Well, I am white, and I do not object to his show. Let's face it, praising people's good qualities does not typically create good comedy, but making fun of people often does. Chapelle seems to make fun of all types of people, not just whites; his message, if there is one, seems to be that all cultures/races have absurd qualities. I don't think anyone would start hating whites just because of his show. The Chapelle Show is just good comedy, created by a non-politically-correct comedian.

Arcata Police Log

On Michelle's blog I found a link to this Arcata Police Log. I love the wording of the entries, such as:

11:28 p.m. A neighbor’s stereo volume was reduced in majesty.

4:12 p.m. A society that worships cars so much that homes are made with a special room for them offers no similar quarter to musicians. They’re not even allowed to use the garage for long, and it doesn’t even matter that they might someday manufacture noise suitable for playback through a car stereo - hell, computers can do that these days.

Washing machine for humans, motorized pants, and other advances

From a New York Times story titled Japan Seeks Robotic Help in Caring for the Aged, I learned that Japan now has washing machines for humans, motorized pants, robots that spy on old people, and other wonderful technologies:

Futuristic images of elderly Japanese going through rinse and dry cycles in rows of washing machines may evoke chills. But they also point to where the world's most rapidly aging nation is heading.

This spring Japanese companies plan to start marketing a "robot suit," a motorized, battery-operated pair of pants designed to help the aged and infirm move around on their own. Then there is the Wakamaru, a mobile, three-foot-high speaking robot equipped with two camera eyes. It is used largely by working people to keep an eye on their elderly parents at home.

The Japanese favor a robotic solution, the article explains, in part because of "xenophobia." In other words, being taken care of by robots might be a bit scary, but then anything would be better than being taken care of by foreigners.

My favorite part of the article reads:

Caught between Japan's high labor costs and anti-immigrant sentiment, some mainstream politicians have even suggested exporting some of Japan's elderly to Thailand and the Philippines, but that has never won much popular support.

"Exporting" the elderly? They could make the whole country into a giant version of Survivor. Each week, old people could compete in various challenges, and those who do not win immunity could get voted off the island. "Sorry grandma, the tribe has spoken. It's a one-way ticket to Thailand for you."

Spy Game

Reacting to recent allegations in the press that the British spied on U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan, my girlfriend asked, "why would we* spy on our friends?"

I said, "That's how we know they're still our friends."

She said, "Oh, that's horrible and cynical, and you're probably right."



(* I guess in this context "we" means "the U.S. and its allies," since we are both Americans.)

MX Unleashed

MX Unleashed for Playstation 2 is the best off-road motorcycle racing game yet. The physics model seems convincing, if somewhat exaggerated to let you pull off huge jumps with ease. It may be the first game to realistically capture the strategy of block-passing -- cornering in a path that is (usually) worse in overall speed, but that blocks the rider on the "better" line and forces him to slow down. I noticed that the crowd sometimes boos when you block-pass, which I found amusing.

Like most motorcycle games, MX Unleashed misses a few real world details. It has only one brake button, not the separate front and rear brakes found on real motorcycles. Oddly, one of the only games that gets this right is Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. And though you can wheelie, the only way to do it seems to be by revving up while holding the clutch in and then popping the clutch. This method is realistic, but in real life you can also wheelie by using the rebound of the front fork. You can suddenly decelerate to compress the front suspension, then snap on full throttle right as the suspension is pushing back up. The game does not allow this, which is a very minor flaw and certainly does not impact gameplay. The fact that I expected this to work only shows how convincing the game is most of the time.

On certain Nationals tracks you can "cheat" by riding on the very edge of the track where there are no jumps instead of going over the jumps. Usually this is much faster. It is difficult to do, though, because if you stray too far off the track for too long you get penalized and lose a huge amount of time.

I wish the game had an "advanced simulation" mode where it is much easier to crash. As it is, the only way to crash is to hit something or land a jump very badly. You never seem to crash by losing traction in a corner, or losing balance on a bumpy section. I guess this gives me something to look forward to in MX Unleashed 2. I highly recommend MX Unleashed for dirtbike fans.

Iron Monkey's Law of Business Meetings

Nobody will fly all the way across the country just to agree with you.

If the price were right

With most products, quality comes at a price. A better restaurant, hotel room, or car costs more than a terrible one. But I'm fascinated by cases where quality has no relationship to price.

Movie theaters charge the same ticket price for a great movie as for an awful one. Why? What if movie prices reflected quality? Faced with a choice of watching Return of the King for $25 or Glitter for 25 cents, what would you do? You pay the same price to watch a movie whether it cost the studio $100 million to make or $1 million. Why?

A great video game and a terrible one usually have the same price tag. A poorly-written novel costs about the same as a great one. A CD of some kid screaming into a microphone, accompanied by somebody strumming the electric guitar with a cheese grater, costs about as much as a CD of Beethoven -- probably more. Why?

Open letter to Playstation 2 developers

Dear Playstation 2 developers,

The Playstation 2 has slots for two memory cards. Just to be clear, I'll say it again. The Playstation 2 has slots for two memory cards. That means that if your game can only load and save to a memory card in slot 1, then your game sucks. Does your favorite bicycle have only one foot pedal? Do you like to eat with only one chopstick? Do you wear one earmuff and one glove in the winter while skating on a single ice skate, on your way to the hair salon where the stylist cuts half of your hair with one scissor? No? Then why can't you support both memory card slots? It's not as if the second memory card slot is some exotic third-party add-on that costs 95,000 Yen and only sold 39 units in some remote town in Kyushu -- it's on every single Playstation 2 in the world! Figure this out, ok? If you can devise new dynamic lighting effects and artificial intelligences, surely you can figure out how to support memory card slot 2.

Here's another thing that should be obvious. The player should be able to pause the game at any time. And by "at any time" I mean, even in the middle of cinematic cut-scenes! What, you think the phone doesn't ring during cinematic cut-scenes? You think somehow the whole world knows to come to a halt, with no possible interruptions, just because I finished a level and got to the next pre-rendered story section?

Jak II gets both of these points right. It supports both memory card slots, and can pause in the middle of cut scenes. If Jak II can do it, any game can do it. Your game should, too.

If you find out the meaning of life, don't tell me!

If you find out the meaning of life, don't tell me! Keep it to yourself. I've Tivoed my life but haven't watched it yet, so don't give anything away. Thank you.

Photos included

If you buy a used phone with a camera in it, the previous owner may have left some unusual pictures behind.

The flight vest

I was out shopping with my brother today, and he happened to spot the Ogio Flight Vest. We joked about it at first, imagining wearing it for travel and how it would look suspiciously military for going through airport security. But then I tried it on and realized I had to have it. I am a packrat and love to carry lots of gear. This will come in handy for snowboarding, camping, etc. It also looks cool/funny.

Things I want football announcers to say

• The further into this game we get, the less time is left on the clock
  
• When you pick up more yards on first down, you don't have as many left to gain later
  
• What they should do here is purposely jump offsides a few times in a row, just to break the other team's rhythm
  

Names

Spammers seem to have started using some kind of random name generator to create the name in the "From" address. This morning I got a spam email from a "Rambucheau F. Vishnu." I don't know any Rambucheau F. Vishnu, but with a name like that I kind of wish I did. Sounds like he could be an interesting character: the Cajun Hindu. I picture him preparing crawfish vindaloo.

Vanillafy

A coworker used the word "vanillafy" today, meaning to simplify or make more ordinary, as in "we could vanillafy these examples so that they apply to all operating systems." I love this word.

Where am I?

I have gotten a few questions lately from readers about where I have been and whether I am OK. The answer (in a nutshell) is that I have been very busy at work over the past few months. So I have not had time for blogging, and have been too stressed out to write anything even if I did have the time. I do plan to return to regular writing here soon.

A new poem I wrote

Our Suburban Day


we wake dress get in the car
drive stop drive stop drive through traffic
breakfast at Denny's or Shari's
whichever is more on the way to the mall

I wear a baseball cap but
one of my more formal ones
since we are going out
I don't take it off to eat
only for a solemn moment like
the national anthem before hockey games
(and even that Canadian one to be polite)

then the shopping at the mall oh yes
the peak experience
do we support the Gap or are we
Banana Republicans
so many choices that's the best part
we could stay all day and we do
buying things
returning them
buying them back again
(is there a more lovely sound than
that of the receipt
printed and torn?
send me the MP3 of that)
we like cashiers because we feel how they
really understand us
for they are the Brand made flesh
and It touches us when they smile

we eat at Olive Garden because we always crave that
multiculturalism
I hear Italy is nice too but it's far
even farther than the Venice in Vegas
and besides
we already feel like we're there from
reading this
authentic menu

walking out the door we know (we just know)
this is it
this is what they are all so jealous of
this is what fanatics hate
who hate freedom
and we don't blame them for
feeling left out
but if they'd only work hard
be reasonable
learn English
someday their time would come

No personals

A good friend of mine said that I am "the most gay-acting straight man" she knows. I told her how my brother jokes that you can find Personal Ads for men seeking "straight-acting" gay men, but there don't seem to be any equivalent ads for women seeking "gay-acting straight men."

I had forgotten all about this remark until this evening, when I was putting an herbal clay mask on my face, and I thought, "oh, this is one of those things, isn't it?"

Driving

Driving home tonight, I was getting on the freeway and there was a lot of oil on the road. The car started to slide and got almost sideways. Then my "skillz" kicked in and I did a perfect "floaty powerslide" and saved it. A few seconds later I thought, wow, I almost totally crashed my car back there. A few seconds after that I thought, wow, I feel like James Bond!

Movie ideas

They can make anything into a movie these days: a comic book, an old TV series, a Saturday Night Live skit, just about anything. You know what I'm waiting for? Victoria's Secret: The Motion Picture. That's what I'm waiting for.

Music

My friend Bob creates some interesting electronic music using thumb pianos and other instruments. I like the way he explores the overtones and subtle distortions of the tones.

Cat Reddick

OK, here's my theory. Right before today's game, Cat Reddick was bitten by a radioactive spider and acquired super-powers. I don' t know how else to explain it -- In the U.S. victory 3-0 over North Korea, she was all over the field, scoring two goals and making numerous incredible defensive plays. I've never considered her a star before, just an average player, but today was her day.

Mia Hamm, part 2

In a comment to my previous Mia Hamm post, koshtra says:

Some athletes have such a purity of concentration that it seems like you're watching a transfiguration or a transcendence -- this is what all human life could be if we just paid attention for once...

Yes, that's exactly what I'm talking about! Watch Mia when she is on the soccer field. Look at her face. There is a transcendent beauty there. It is not because she is physically attractive, although she is. It is an intensity, a kind of purity of intent and purpose that could be terrifying if it weren't so beautiful. Many players have a lot of skill with the soccer ball, but few have this.

And I think koshtra is right: if only we paid attention . . .

Mia Hamm

I'm sorry, but I'm a bit crazy. When I see Mia Hamm do something wonderful on the soccer field, I get kind of choked up. Several times when she has scored a goal, I have actually started crying a bit -- especially if it happens during a World Cup. (The only other player I've ever had that reaction to is Pele.) Today when Mia scored her second goal against Nigeria on the free kick, well that was one of those times.

Outsourcing, our road to paradise

Offshore outsourcing is good, because it drives down costs, which drives down prices. The rise in unemployment is balanced out by the cheaper cost of everything to consumers. If you follow this to its logical conclusion, eventually no American will have a job, but we won't need (or want) jobs or incomes because everything will be free. We will live in a slacker's paradise. ("Been spending most their lives, living in the slacka's paradise . . .")

Supply Side Jesus

The comic parody The Gospel of Supply Side Jesus is pretty funny (via boingboing). But I thought Jesus really was a supply-side thinker. It's right here, Matthew 13:12:

For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath.

(Note: this is a joke, so please no flames from theologians. Hey, I like saying that.)

Stand up and be counted

Howard writes:

Wedding Bell Blues: I've always wondered what it would take for me to stand up and be counted when the person officiating at a wedding said: "If there is anyone gathered here today who knows why this couple should not be united in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your piece."

Now I know -- a reception that included a Krispy Kreme wedding cake.

The problem is, they never ask that at weddings except in the movies, because they know that somebody in the audience won't be able to resist the temptation. It's the ultimate invitation to rant! If they ever asked that at a wedding I went to, it would be really difficult not to shout out something like, "Stop, man! She's just marrying you for your Pokemon card collection! Can't you see that?"

We Need More Irregular Verbs

Irregular verbs are the spice of life. Admit it, saying swim/swam/swum is much more fun than swim/swimmed would be. Irregular verbs have more character, more of what food marketers call "mouthfeel."

When we coin new words, we should make a little extra effort to make the verbs irregular. For example, the verb "to Google" is a fun word, but "Googled" is boring. Instead, try the irregular version:

• I compulsively Google for my own name.
  
• Yesterday she Gaggled for a Keanu Reeves fan site.
  
• That web page was frequently Guggled.

Ahh, that's so much better.

On a platter

Social Reject blogs about this news story:

Adventurous ladies looking for new ways to flirt, here's a suggestion from New York's Museum of Sex -- go to a restaurant, head for the bathroom, take off your panties and put them on your date's plate.

If someone did that, I would put my socks on her plate. I mean, really -- that might fly in a movie or an episode of Sex and the City, but I think in real life it would just seem weird and disturbing.

MP3 of the day

Killing Sugar, by Sahina. (MP3.com site requires free registration.)

Independent music

Last night I ordered some more music from CD Baby. From their "About" page:

• We only sell CDs that come directly from the musicians. No distributors. Musicians send us CDs. We warehouse them, sell them to you, and pay the musicians directly.
• Cool thing: in a regular record deal or distribution deal, musicians only make $1-$2 per CD, if they ever get paid by their label. When selling through CD Baby, musicians make $6-$12 per CD, and get paid weekly.

It's not too hard to find interesting music there, either, since it is well organized and described, and you can listen to the tunes online before you buy. Considering how bad major label record deals are for musicians, I think supporting independent music is essential. Independent artists are like the bloggers of the music world.

The Joy of Sharing a Computer

Rachel writes:

I did what I could to fix the computer, and yet I woke up to a note from the roomie informing me that he'd changed my admin password and that I was to never delete anything off his machine again (This is the version minus all the expletives). So, imagine my satisfaction when we got the new copy of Nortons and it showed that all FOUR viruses were on his side of the computer. I'd have loved to have slammed his face against the monitor and rubbed it there, like a big, dumb puppy.

Computers are already one of the most frustrating things around; "cohabiting" one can only make things more maddening.

The Threat of Gay Marriage

The biggest threat to straight people from the prospect of same-sex marriage has got to be the knowledge that all of our straight weddings will be completely upstaged by the gay ones. Their weddings will be more hip and fabulous, and we will look bad by comparison. We can picture our guests standing in one corner, saying, "this reception is OK, I guess, but it's not nearly as cool as the reception for that gay wedding last month. Phil and John really know how to put on an event!" "Tell me about it. They had better music, better catering, the whole deal. Straight weddings are a bore. These days, I only go to them as a show of support for heterosexuality."

Mulholland Shire

[Warning: Mulholland Drive spoilers ahead. If you haven't seen Mulholland Drive and the Lord of the Rings movies, the following won't make much sense.]

Cross Mulholland Drive with Lord of the Rings and you would get a dark, edgy movie called Mulholland Shire.

Mulholland Shire picks up where Two Towers left off, but with a shocking twist. We learn that the character "Frodo Baggins" is actually a burned-out loser named Lou Gollum whose long-term abuse of drugs has left him friendless and unemployed. He lives in a slum apartment in the bad end of Mulholland Shire. One of his few posessions is his drug pipe, which he calls his "precious."

Lou had come to the Shire expecting fame, fortune, and opportunity. But fate seemed to deliver all of the advantages to another man, Bill Sauron, who kept lucking into adventures, finding valuable antique rings and armor and becoming extremely popular. At first Lou befriended Bill, and the two had a brief but thrilling homosexual relationship. But later Bill rejected him to climb the social and political ladder in the Shire, and Lou Gollum sank into a deep depression.

The events of the first two Lord of the Rings movies have been a dream that Lou Gollum was having, in which he idealizes how his life should have turned out. In his dream, he is the imaginary Frodo Baggins, loved and trusted by Bill(bo), who recieves a precious magic ring and must go off on an adventure to save the world. Frodo is a tiny "hobbit" representing how small and powerless Lou feels at this point in his life. On the other hand, Bill Sauron has been transformed into larger characters, showing the large role he plays in Lou's life. The part of Bill Sauron that Lou hates has been transformed in the dream into the giant figure of Sauron, the dark lord responsible for all the evil in the land. But the Bill he still loves has turned into the tall Gandalf, a wise magical father-figure. (The invisibility episode near the very beginning provides an early clue that all is not what it seems -- Lou wishes he could just make Bill(bo) "disappear." And as we will see later, he already has.)

Though in the dream Lou imagines himself as the saviour-hero, the "Gollum" character manifests to remind him of the insecure, selfish, evil aspects of himself that he tries to deny. "Gollum's" babbling about the "precious" is a warped representation of Lou's drug addiction and crazy behavior. Indeed, the physical appearance of "Gollum" suggests an addict: the thin, wasted body, the hollowed, sunken face, and the crazed eyes are a giveaway.

Various bizarre images in the first 2/3 of the story suddenly make sense when understood as Lou Gollum's dream. For example, consider the scene where the Ents release floodwaters that destroy Saruman's machines and drain into deep holes in the ground. This absurd image of powerful talking trees and watery destruction would make little sense if taken literally. Instead, the giant "talking plants" represent the drugs that Lou is addicted to. They unleash a "flood" of problems, destroying the things that matter to Lou, and the image of the water draining into the ground shows Lou's life "going down the drain."

Sauron's powerful "giant magical tower" is an obvious phallic symbol in the dream, relating to Lou's prior relationship with Bill. The fact that the tower is no longer "available" to Lou/Frodo but instead guarded by giant gates and monsters shows Lou's frustration.

As the dream story goes on, Frodo looks more and more exhausted, and wonders if he can go on. This represents the crumbling of Lou's denial. The dream Frodo has been involved in many violent episodes, rationalized as combat with various "monsters," but really representing Lou's violent behavior in the real world.

At this point in Mulholland Shire, viewers will wonder how we possibly could have been taken in by the first 2/3 of the story and believed it to be real. The plot was so full of absurdities -- talking trees, wizards, Orcs, giant flaming winged demons with whips -- that it could only have been the deranged dream of a violent drug addict who has lost his hold on reality.

Frodo's quest to destroy Sauron is really about Lou Gollum's decision to take revenge on Bill Sauron by killing him. All of the obstacles that block Frodo's quest show that Lou's subconscious mind deeply regrets his decision to murder his friend, and wishes that his plan had been derailed. When Gandalf is killed by the balrog, but later miraculously appears alive again, it shows how Lou wishes that his murder, too, could be undone.

But wherever the hero Frodo goes, "Gollum" -- the real, deceitful, murderer Lou -- keeps tagging along. The evil "black riders" who constantly search for Frodo and the Ring are really the police detectives who are looking for Bill's killer. Some black riders are even mounted upon flying monsters (police helicopters).

In the end, Lou can no longer deny his situation. He must acknowledge that, far from being a hero, he is "Gollum," a twisted, evil man who killed his ex-lover in a fit of jealousy and rage, and has only his "precious" drugs left to console himself. Finally taking responsibility for his evil deed, Lou kills himself.

Though depressing, Mulholland Shire is an interesting look at the tricks our minds can play on us. As far as Lou Gollum has fallen, some part of him still desperately wants to be a hero, on a grand adventure to save the world from evil. At some level, he wants to save the world from himself.

Player

I've been playing video games so long . . .

. . . when I see the words "Solid State" I misread it as "Solid Snake."

. . . I think of real-world objects as having a "high polygon count."

. . . when I walk into a room I look for a "save point."

. . . whenever I see boxes or barrels I want to smash them open for the power-ups inside.

. . . it bothers me that most real coins are silver, not gold.

. . . objects in the real world seem to travel much too slowly.

. . . when I get a performance review at work, I keep expecting to hear that I have "levelled up."

. . . I expect all stores to buy my old items back from me . . . even if it's not the store I bought them from.

. . . when I find something I'm looking for, I'm disappointed when the act of discovering it doesn't make a sound.

. . . I find it disorienting to drive with my point-of-view inside my car.

The shy ones

I read this journal entry at Pamie.com about "how a woman can tell when a man is staring at her chest" (via makeoutcity). It made me think about how funny it is that guys who are simply too shy to look women (or anyone) in the eye when talking to them would probably give the impression of ogling, whether they actually were or not. And that reminded me of how shyness can be misinterpreted as other things.

For instance, a while ago several women I know told me about a certain man they had just met, and they described him as "creepy," "strange," etc. Some of them seemed extremely anxious about him to the point of being scared and saying that they "wondered if they should call the cops" or something like that. They also said that he wouldn't give them a straight answer about anything.

I went and met this guy and observed his behavior. I quickly concluded that he was just very shy. He stared at the floor instead of making eye contact. He glanced around. He did answer questions awkwardly, but I think he was flustered about being around so many people he didn't know. Nothing about this guy seemed the least bit threatening, except maybe that he was of above-average height.

I think that shy people must have a hard time, because not only are they shy, but other people aren't good at recognizing shyness, and can interpret it as being all sorts of even less desirable things. Shyness can come across as being unfriendly, aloof, stuck-up, creepy, insincere, etc.

Actually, I tend to have the opposite bias. I am automatically suspicious of people who are too "smooth" because I figure that they must be manipulative. This is also not necessarily true though. Just another distortion for the collection.

It won't make you as happy as you think

The September 7, 2003 issue of The New York Times Magazine has a great article called "The Futile Pursuit of Happiness" by Jon Gertner. Gertner writes about a Harvard psychology professor named Daniel Gilbert who studies happiness. Gilbert's studies have found that people are bad at predicting how things and events will impact their future happiness. To summarize, people consistently overestimate how happy or unhappy a thing or event will make them, and also overestimate how long that happiness or unhappiness will last. Gilbert calls this tendency to overestimate "impact bias."

As Tim Wilson says, "We don't realize how quickly we will adapt to a pleasurable event and make it the backdrop of our lives. When any event occurs to us, we make it ordinary. And through becoming ordinary, we lose our pleasure."

To distill this even further, change never matters as much as we think it will. Knowing this, logically we should care less about change, craving good things a bit less while also fearing bad things a bit less.

Another interesting quote from the article:

George Loewenstein sums up this human capacity [of adaptation] as follows: "Happiness is a signal that our brains use to motivate us to do certain things. And in the same way that our eye adapts to different levels of illumination, we're designed to kind of go back to the happiness set point. Our brains are not trying to be happy. Our brains are trying to regulate us."

How to pronounce "Prius"

People have wondered how to pronounce the name of the Toyota Prius. My theory: "prius" is a Latin word meaning "first" or "before." So it ought to be pronounced pree-us as it would be in Latin. But I have heard people say "pry-us" also.

Pranks

I did not know there were other people who did this sort of prank -- making fake signs, pamphlets, and so forth. In my youth, I did many similar pranks.

Our college cafeteria often had little signs on the tables. The signs had a short essay about nutrition, and basically the point was to tell you how the cafeteria food you ate was helping to prevent some dire condition like scurvy or rickets. They usually ended with a list of things you could do to prevent [insert disease here], by eating [insert specific cafeteria foods here].

A new sign would come along every month or so, but they were all pretty boring. I started to wish for a more interesting sign. So I created a convincing imitation of the real signs, with the company logo and everything, but my sign was about the Black Plague. It described the effects of the Plague in gruesome, distinctly unappetizing detail, and gave advice for prevention like "reduce contact with plague-infected rats." I made enough copies to put one on each table in all of the college's cafeterias, and I enlisted a few friends to go in just before mealtime and distribute them.

The only problem was that the signs disappeared immediately. People thought they were so funny that they kept them, instead of leaving them on the tables for the next diners to enjoy. I wish I still had a copy.

Rain on

In reply to my plea on Friday, Michelle sent me rain -- a thunderstorm just appeared to thwart the smog. I did not realize that weather could be sent from blogger to blogger over the Internet. What will they think of next?

U.S. 5, Mexico 0 (Women's Soccer)

Within the last few months, Abby Wambach has gone from being just a good striker who is effective in the air, to an absolute nightmare for opposing defenses. Early in the first half, Wambach, with her back to the goal, suddenly turned and rocketed a shot into the upper corner of the net to give the U.S. a 1-0 lead. This was a Mia Hamm-style deceptive shot that looked like it would be a pass. Wambach seemed to be all over the field, creating a variety of attacking opportunities. Mexico self-destructed by giving up 3 penalty kicks in the game, but 2 of the 3 penalty kicks resulted from fouls committed in an attempt to stop Wambach. So Wambach really contributed to 3 of the 5 goals.

The difference between Wambach and Shaq is that a basketball team might reasonably give up some free throws in order to slow down Shaq. But for a soccer team to give up 2 penalty kicks to slow down Wambach, well that just looks crazy. In the foul that led to the final PK, a Mexican defender went down, flailing her legs at Wambach in what looked an awful lot like an NFL lineman style leg-whip. The leg-whip, by the way, is not only illegal in the NFL, but often results in a monetary fine against the offender.

But speaking of appalling fouls, the one that got Kylie Bivens thrown out of the game only minutes after she came on as a substitute was probably the worst of the day. Bivens slid cleats-first at a Mexican player, missing the ball but clipping her opponent's leg just above the knee, in a play that made no sense at all. The U.S. already had the game in hand at that point, and there was no need for a dangerous challenge like that.

Grey tan orange

The smog, the smog, it's driving me mad
I need it to rain, I want the rain bad.
Horizons should be so much farther away
Than this one, approaching, so blurry and grey.

Outside I breathe in and instantly feel dirty. I want to put just the filter part of a cigarette in my mouth and breathe through it. The city smells like distant burning garbage, like rags discovered in an abandoned garage. Forest fires. Smog. Forest fires.

It's like waking up the next day and smelling the smoke in your hair from last night's pub crawl, smoke you didn't even notice at the time but now seems disgusting. And it reminds you of things you may have said, which seemed clever at the time, but now seem disgusting. I wake up just like that and realize -- I stayed in last night! But I still feel coated in invisible essence of disappointment.

Do something. I don't know, put up big fans on the hilltops to blow it away, and on ordinary days turn them into windmills, generate some electricity. We keep flashlights for blackouts, water for earthquakes. What do we hoard for this, air? A garage full of air tanks? "What are all those?" "Oh, nothing, I was just thinking of maybe someday, you know, opening a scuba supply shop or something."

It's still everywhere. Rain for me.

U.S. 5, Costa Rica 0 (Women's soccer)

It's hard to be disappointed by a 5-0 victory, but I will attempt it.

The U.S. team played virtually the whole game in Costa Rica's end of the field, and the majority of that in or near their opponent's penalty area. For all that they got 4 "deserved" goals and one fluke goal, when a Costa Rican defender fanned on the ball and allowed it to roll straight to Mia Hamm 5 yards away from the goal. The problem with this is that against better teams, there will not be 100 scoring opportunities in a game, and converting only 5% of them will not seem so impressive.

For all the attacks the U.S. generated, they actually created relatively few threatening shots on goal. In addition to the 4 "good" goals, I saw the Costa Rican keeper make maybe 3 difficult saves. So that only adds up to 7 on-target, threatening shots in the whole game. What happened the rest of the time? A lot of shots were blocked by defenders, a lot of shots were far off target, and a lot of crosses went to nobody in particular. Time and time again, close range shots that should have been easy goals went wide or sailed high over the crossbar.

To win the upcoming World Cup, the U.S. will have to create a better goals-to-chances ratio.

Danger: USB

Tim: What was the name of that British show from years ago about the bomb defusers?

Me: Danger: USB. No, wait, Danger: UXB. Danger USB would be a show about unsafe computer peripherals.

April: [mimes plugging something into the USB port of a laptop and then getting electrocuted]

Acronym madness

Friend: How do you pronounce XSLT? Is it "ix-ult?" "Ix-let?"

Me: No, XSLT is pronounced "ex-slut." See, it was developed by an ex-slut . . .

Miss Gullible My Girlfriend: Was it really??

Great Moments in Software Documentation

The CiscoSecure ACS 2.3 Installation Guide dispenses this pearl of wisdom:

Step 8 If the CiscoSecure installation procedure fails during the database upgrade phase due to a fixable condition (such as database resources errors), do the following:

(a). Fix the condition that caused the failure.

Thanks, I'll do that. And when I get an "out of memory" error, I'll try to forget a few things, to free some up. And whenever it says, "this application has executed an illegal instruction" I'll go lobby Congress to change that law.