At The Tree Farm

Jim: "How should we cut down the Christmas tree this year?"

Me: ". . ."

Jim: "I say we set up from long range with a sniper rifle and then . . . crack!" [mimes tree falling down] "One or two shots should do it."

Me: "What about this one?"

Jim: "It isn't tall enough."

Me: "We can always put some viagra in its water."

Jim: "OK, now this is the one."

Me: "This is the tree. Time to take it down. Release the termites!!"

Jim: "That's a good idea but . . . I know, beavers! That's what we should have brought."

Me: "Next year we'll bring a pack of trained beavers, on leashes. They can fell the tree for us. That will save us so much work. Well, if you don't count the training."