After Summer and Fall party quotes, it is now time for Winter party quotes. There aren't many yet, but I'll keep adding to them.
"You can always tell what's in the oven . . . by the color of the smoke."
"The mininimum to get into the investment club is at least one indictment for securities fraud."
". . . and you know what else the wine steward said?" "Uh, 'Drink it all in one gulp or you're not a real man'?"
"I will suck out all your chi and use it for evil."
"Figure skating would be more interesting if they let them fight like in hockey."
"Tango is the Argentine version of Judo. There is a lot of grappling, but nobody gets slammed to the mat."
"Aren't you going to eat?" "I'm trying to put some meat on my wife for the winter."
"Your wasabi looks like an Ewok."
"She wants to help the downtrodden, but she works at [Law Firm]." "Oh yeah, and they only help the up-trodden."
"What do you think about those Internet-enabled refrigerators?" "Time will tell if it is just a fad." "Yeah, well, that's what they said about the wheel."
"For some people, 'I like you' is harder to say than 'I love you' because 'I love you' just means 'I'm going to get you into bed in a minute.' Don't you agree?" "Well, yeah, if it's said right . . ."
[After a discussion about catnip.] "Wouldn't life be more exciting if there were a such thing as human-nip?"
"The drug of choice there is sunshine." "Yeah, but it can lead to harder drugs."