I will not enjoy a blog if:

• It uses pink text on a green background, or any color text on a yellow background
  
• The average post length is one sentence
  
• It uses . . . the ellipsis . . . much more than any other . . . punctuation.
  
• It is full of the sort of entry I promise not to write (but some blogs I really like are almost like this. The key is almost)
  
• All the text is in a column 1 inch wide, because it only looks right on some crazy browser that 3 people in the world use
  
• It uses 4 fonts in the same sentence
  
• It is written in some barbaric language I don't understand, showing that the author does not have the courtesy to speak English. (For the humor-impaired, let me clarify: that was just a reference to an old Steve Martin joke. If I really want to read it I can use babelfish.)
  
• It never uses capital letters, except occasionally where they don't belong, as in "i am frEaky"
  
• It does all the above things yet still gets a thousand times more hits than my blog because it contains words like warez, teenz, pr0n etc.