Wednesday, April 23, 2003

Outsourcing Jars

Outsourcing is the future, and everything that can be outsourced will be.

For example, one day if I have a jar with a stuck lid, I won't attempt to loosen the lid myself, or even enlist a neighbor to do it. I will simply ship the jar overnight to Bangladesh, where a jar-lid-loosening sweatshop will take care of my jar. The professional jar-lid-loosener will earn $0.01 for the job, which will still be much more than he could have made loosening domestic jar lids, thus creating a win/win situation. The sweatshop keeps the other $0.99 of my fee and ships the "value-added" jar back to me.

Great though the jar-lid-loosening outsourcing business model may be, it does not approach the perfect situation of outsourcing "pure information" jobs, which would avoid shipping delays. I can also outsource wittiness. Next time I'm at a party and need something witty to say, I duck into the next room and instant message something like "pls create funny remark in English about Iraq or soccer. Offer:$0.75" to the Remarks Market. Of course, my offshore helpers could counteroffer: "avail side-slapper about Brad Friedel, require $0.98". I agree to the terms, and relate the remark to my friends, who are none the wiser.

[This blog post was written for me by the lowest bidder.]

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