I went to see a play tonight -- Edward Albee's "Three Tall Women" -- with my girlfriend and my parents. At intermission I went to the refreshment stand, where I awkwardly fumbled around with my broken hands to get my wallet out, then get a dollar from my wallet, then buy a sugar cookie. I walked away and started to eat the cookie, and my father asked me, "did you pay for that?"
"No," I said, "I'm beginning my life of crime with the extremely lucrative cookie-theft racket. On the black market, a cookie like this can fetch a high price."